Why Doesn’t Anyone Like Me On Facebook?

Listen up.

This is your target Facebook audience speaking and we desire to be heard. You’d be wise to listen closely. Should you truly wish to join us, and start getting our Facebook Likes you had better pay attention. Here’s the most common reasons why we don’t like you…

You do not listen to me.

Have you any idea the kind of things I enjoy? What my hobbies are? How much I’m online?

 

(WIIFM) What’s in for me?

You keep on asking me to Like you, but why should I? Will I get updates? Exclusive discounts? Business information that may help me? If not, don’t bother.

 

You’re overly longwinded.

I fell asleep the last time I read your Facebook post. Keep it sweet and short.

I looked at your page and you only had three posts for all of last month and there hasn’t been anything since. Crickets. Would you care about me?

 

You’re cluttering my feed @ssh0!*.

As soon as I gave my consent for you to post consistently, I did not mean every thirty-minutes! Only give me the highlights, and scale down the bill.

 

You’re so…boring.

Your posts are only text–no images, no video, nothing to capture the attention. Ever thought of asking a question? Requesting opinions? You don’t make me want to engage. You put me to sleep.

 

Your timing is always all wrong.

Should you actually care about me, you had understand my behavior — I like to socialize when I’m online. If you knew that, you’d stop posting at all the times that are incorrect.

 

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